To Be Introduced or Not To Be Introduced

“It’s just an introduction; the rest is up to you…”

Remember that tagline, the one they used for SDU eons ago. I remember laughing at the ad when I saw it on tv. But now it’s hitting me on the face with full force. A guy friend of mine (the husband of one of my closest friends) broached this subject a few weeks back. He has a friend of his from uni days. He thought it would be a good idea for him and I to get acquainted.

Bells went off in my head. Not wedding ones - alarms. I tend to get apprehensive over this sort of thing. I would only go out with someone if he has seen me or at least a picture of me beforehand. I have had experiences where guys I got to know via email did the disappearing act when I gave them my picture. A guy friend told me that some guys would not even want to have lady friends who are not easy on the eye. The shallowness of it all. So I suggested that the guy to be introduced check out my facebook account – to see my picture, then decide after that. I left the matter there.

Then I deliberated on it some more. I started thinking about whether I wanted to go through with it in the first place. The quandary is this. On one hand, I know I should get to know more men and in the dearth of eligible ones right now, I should go all carpe diem and make full use of opportunities laid my way. On the other, I kept thinking about the hang ups I had, the getting-to-know-you phase, the dating game.

I find myself feeling tired. Tired to try, tired of wondering whether this time it will be different, it will work, that somehow this one will see me for who I am. It’s not that I lack the confidence in myself. It’s more that I don’t have the confidence in men. The men I loved may have loved parts of me – my voice, my conversation, my company. But none so far was strong enough to take all of me.

For now, a suggestion that the four of us get together for a casual dinner was proposed.

The ball is in my court.