Fatism

Today for the first time in probably a decade or more, I was at the receiving end of a fatist remark. I was so stunned that I was not capable of giving any response.

I arrived at this particular place for a sharing session of sorts (work related). Saw a few ladies there, I knew them but am not close to them. And so, this wretched exchange transpired with one of them:

Perpetrator: So how are you?

Me: I’m ok.

Perpetrator: Yah since you’re like this (made a fat gesture - lifting of arms at the side), everything
should be ok.


Me: . . .

I just could not believe that she actually made such a comment and even more so the most hated gesture! I mean what was she thinking? Did it just slip out of her subconscious mind?

It made me think about what probably went through her mind or what sort of impression she had of me at our first meeting. What stereotypes did she have? What labels rang in her head? I was utterly pissed.

I told myself not to get affected. But at the end of the day, literally, it just got to me. Really affected my mood. The only saving grace were the couple of sweet gifts I got for Teachers’ Day.

What I would give to steal back that moment and say my piece.

Sahabat

I was thumbing through my book of quotes this late morning. I was deliciously lying in bed, the rain outside. And I came across this short sajak N messaged me maybe about 6 or 7 years ago.

“Sahabat yang beriman bagai mentari yang menyinar,
Sahabat setia bagai pewangi mengharumkan,
Sahabat sejati menjadi pendorong impian,
Sahabat berhati mulia membawa kita ke jalan Allah.”

In our conversation the same day I asked where he got the piece from. He told me that he wrote it himself. I remember laughing and telling him how impressed I was. Then another question popped in my head which I was dying to ask but was not really willing to.

Was it somehow dedicated to me?

I chose to remain delusional and think it such. Pathetic maybe. But you know, how we often seek validation.

I find myself still thinking of him on occasion when I know I should not. I never really know what to do when I miss him.

This song is my favourite from Gee. The words say it all.

Love Note

I got this from one of the kids today. She's always so sweet. Nas said she's probably in an 'all about love' phase. Yeah I guess kids go through this in general. But she's adorable. The Chinese characters read 'Wo ai lao shi' (I love teacher). Well hope I got that right. Had to blank out her name of course so it looks kind of weird. But ah these are the little things that make it worthwhile.