Perhaps being happy is not about a single moment or time. Maybe its about stringing along little moments and events in your everyday and that amounts to something substantial.
Is being happy then something like a habit or something that I have to remember to do everyday? Maybe I should, at the end of a day, contemplate and give thanks to the little pleasures given ...maybe I should be more aware of the little instances of happy rather than wait to feel a full wave...maybe I need to be more conscious of this journey.
This IS your life...now, here.
For a long time, it feels like I've been waiting for something to happen. For my life, my real life to begin, somehow. It seems like I've been plodding along, playing at being an adult, trying to find the pieces of a jigsaw to make it complete. I will admit that the pieces look pretty much like a man, a few babies, a home to call our own, a job that I enjoy and this higher-order need for self-actualisation (in no particular order of desperation).
Obstacles appear somehow whenever I resolve to start my life the way I want it to be; an emotional thorn here, a financial crisis there. Just when I feel like I've got it figured out. Things topple around me. So I have this sneaking suspicion that this IS it. It's about a constant state of figuring things out...it's about surmounting obstacles, be them big or small...it's about living fully in the present. It's not just about making plans and waiting for the right moment to come. Or perhaps, I'm the only 30 year old fool who is realising this a tad too late.
“Be patient toward all that is unsolved in your heart and try to love the questions themselves. Live the questions now.Perhaps you will find them gradually, without noticing it,live along some distant day into the answer.”
- Rainer Maria Rilke
- Rainer Maria Rilke
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